Over the past few years I’ve come to a serious conclusion: The Oscars Are Not To Be Taken Very Seriously (unless you’re a clothing designer). And The Golden Globes even less so (unless you’re a tabloid journalist).
However, we here at Slacker Heroes like to take at least one subject seriously, and that is superhero movies. We take them so seriously that we’ve decided to hold our own Slacker Heroes Movie Awards in which we nominate superhero movies, and the winners are chosen by a panel of knowledgeable peers, aka… you.
I’ve no doubt we’ll screw this up somehow and forget “the greatest superhero movie of all time,” in your opinion, and if we did just let us know about it in the comments and if sufficient ire is raised we’ll add that movie/actor/actress/director/writer to the nominations. After all, we’re a democracy of slackers here.
So without further ado, I give you the first annual Slacker Heroes Movie Awards nominations:
(nominations have been closed)
*Intro written by Ellie. Picks by most of the staff.
Ellie Ann
February 22, 2012
This is great! I can’t wait to see who wins. Finally, movie awards nominations I can stand behind. It was hard to choose just one in some of the categories! The easy ones for me were: Unbreakable for Best Picture and Iron Man for best screenplay.
The one nomination I’m completely aghast about is: DARCY in THOR. What? Darcy! What? She was one of my least favorites parts of any movie, a completely inane character.
Okay. Just had to let the world know that I’m not being that Darcy nomination.
Jennifer Joseph
February 22, 2012
I didn’t pick that one but I must say that it makes me die a little on the inside to have M. Night Shyamalan nominated for Best Director even though I like Unbreakable.
T. J. Brumfield
February 22, 2012
I think he is a decent director and a terrible screenwriter. Unbreakable could have had better pacing though.
Tracy
February 25, 2012
What Jen said.
Unbreakable is outstanding, though. End still gives me chills. I thought the pace was perfekt.
mortari
February 24, 2012
Oh noes, I love Darcy! I thought she was adorable and really funny. “Miow miow” still makes me laugh!
Tracy
February 26, 2012
“Sorry I tazed you.”
Dennings over Connely.
Sure your not confusing Dennings with Zoe De-whats-her-face, El?
Dave
February 22, 2012
This is great except for the supporting actress category i couldot vote for any of them i thought silk spectre 2 could have had a shout but its a tough area tbh.
my other qualm is why tdk instead of bb for nolans director nomination
important still excited to see who wins
Jennifer Joseph
February 22, 2012
It saddens me to say that there weren’t enough ladies to have a Best Actress category. It would’ve been between Malin Ackerman and Mary Elizabeth Winstead. And that’s it.
Osiris
February 22, 2012
Um, no.
Jessica Alba – Invisible Woman – Fantastic Four
Sarah Michelle Gellar – Buffy Summers – BtVS (Slayer counts as a superhero)
Famke Jensen – Jean Grey – X-Men
Halle Berry – Storm – X-Men
Alicia Silverstone – Batgirl – Batman & Robin
Jennifer Garner – Elektra – Elektra
Anna Paquin – Rogue – X-Men
Michelle Pheiffer – Catwoman – Batman Returns
There. Now you have nine.
T. J. Brumfield
February 22, 2012
Do you have to play a superhero yourself to be considered a lead? I’d contend that Margot Kidder was more of a lead as Lois Lane than Alicia Silverstone was as Batgirl.
And you lose me when you’re nominating that performance, or most anything from that movie (save the soundtrack).
I’d contend that Gellar, Jansen, Berry, Garner, Paquin and Pfeiffer are all leads. I’d add Kiddo, Morentz and Lawrence to the leading lady category and the relegate the rest to supporting.
Jennifer Joseph
February 22, 2012
I can add a Best Actress category but it’ll be pretty empty. That’s why I didn’t do it in the first place. Yes, I suppose Kidder would be more lead.
I consider BtVS a vampire movie more than superhero movie but the version you guys are talking about isn’t even a movie.
Jennifer Joseph
February 22, 2012
Jessica Alba, Halle Berry, Alicia Silverstone and Jennifer Garner were not good enough to be nominated. Lack of options is not going to make us nominate them.
SMG as Buffy – that’s a TV series.
Anna Paquin and Michelle Pfeiffer are supporting. MP as Catwoman is nominated in the Supporting Actress category.
Famke Janssen, I’ll give you. But no one nominated her.
Osiris
February 22, 2012
And yet, Sam Raimi, Selma Blair, Nick Cage and Watchmen received nods? Are you joking?
Raimi’s Spiderman is possibly the worst direction of a superhero/action movie since Predator 2. Selma Blair gave a performance so stiff it makes Kristen Stewart look like Cate Blanchett, Nick Cage is potentially the flattest ‘actor’ to hit the screen and the Watchmen soundtrack was cliched so bad it may as well have been filled with MLK speeches and Genesis tunes. Not exactly setting a high enough bar for any of those actresses to surpass..
It’s surprising, really. Normally I agree with you on most subjects. This, I do not.
T. J. Brumfield
February 22, 2012
Raimi’s Spiderman 2 has a RT score of 93%. Many critics called it the best superhero movie of all time. Superman 2 (also hailed as perhaps the best superhero movie of all time) has a RT score of 88% in comparison.
Spiderman 3 was so terrible that in retrospect people are now hating on the whole trilogy when 2 was quite good. In fact I think Ebert said it was literally the best movie of the year and deserving of an Oscar. While I don’t agree with that, it was certainly deserving of a nod in this poll.
Watchmen was actually quite well directed given how difficult the source material was to deal with. Many great directors before said it was patently unfilmable. And while the ending differs greatly from the comic (I’m in the minority who feel the movie ending is actually superior), it was perhaps the most faithful adaptation you were ever going to get out of Hollywood.
I don’t care for Blair or Cage’s performances, but I will easily defend the direction of Spiderman 2 and Watchmen any day.
Tracy
February 25, 2012
“Flat”. THANK you- been racking my brain tryin ta think of the perfect word to describe Cage’s “acting”. Stopped pondering how the Hell he keeps getting roles when I got sick of the nosebleeds.
Selma’s not far off.
I disagree about Raining but u made some good points.
Tracy
February 25, 2012
Disagree about RAIMI, even.
Stewpid “smart” phones.
mortari
February 24, 2012
“Jessica Alba, Halle Berry, Alicia Silverstone and Jennifer Garner were not good enough to be nominated.”
Hehe, Jen, harsh but fair. It’s a shame that there have been no good superhero films with female leads. Catwoman, Aeon Flux, Elektra, they all sucked! I would like to see a Batwoman or Batgirl film, I think that could be awesome.
Tracy
February 25, 2012
I was gonna say the same thing about those roles, but I didn’t wanna come across like a hater. Terrible, all of em. Be great if they’d remake Elektra sans Garner.
Bat-Femme flick could be great…provided its left in Nolans hands.
Just like your article on over-sexualizing females- don’t just gimme another pretty face, gimme a chick that can actually portray a fckuing intensely kick-ass character.
My girl Franka Portente comes to mind.
Tracy
February 25, 2012
Pheiffer fer sure.
Not that there’s a whole helluva lotta competition on that list.
Ellie Ann
February 22, 2012
I thought The Dark Knight was a well directed film, but I sure did enjoy Batman Begins more. It’s not about favorites, I guess. It’s about well crafted films.
Epsilon_IV
February 22, 2012
Should have had V for Vendetta or A History of Violence in there but other than that, great idea! Cant wait to see who wins what.
Jennifer Joseph
February 22, 2012
Those aren’t superhero movies.
Epsilon_IV
February 22, 2012
Well they are comic book movies lol but I get your point
Tracy
February 25, 2012
Totally agree.
V for Vendetta would fit nicely in this mix.
Tracy
February 25, 2012
And “V” is the ULTIMATE super hero.
Remember, remember that.
Scapegoat
February 22, 2012
There´s a lot of stuff missing… Where´s the Ultimate Avengers movies? And why isn´t Iron Man in the ‘best picture’ category?
Jennifer Joseph
February 22, 2012
We kept it similar to the Academy Awards and only allowed 9 slots for each category. Not a one of us nominated Iron Man for Best Picture. The competition is stiff when you’re considering every superhero movie ever made.
Ellie Ann
February 22, 2012
If Iron Man had a stunning climax, it would have been there.
Tracy
February 25, 2012
True that.
Andy_Panthro
February 22, 2012
Great polls!
I only have one suggestion, that Liev Schreiber be included for “best supporting actor” since he was the only redeeming part of “Wolverine”.
Jennifer Joseph
February 22, 2012
He was amazing in that role and definitely deserves a nod. As do Alan Cuming for Nightcrawler in X2, Dominic Cooper as Howard Stark in Captain America and Gary Oldman as Gordon. That was the single toughest category to narrow down as there are so many great supporting actors to choose from.
Tracy
February 25, 2012
Good call on Oldman. Suprised I didn’t even think aboot that.
Whatta sheer badass Gary is.
Romeo is Bleeding. All day.
Tracy
February 28, 2012
Jesus, I haven’t heard a single positive word about Origins, yet- is it really THAT fckuing BAD??
sully
February 22, 2012
I wish X:FC had more nods. Totally would of thrown in some Blade, Addams Family and Sin City.
Jennifer Joseph
February 22, 2012
X-Men First Class is one of my favorite superhero movies but I think it speaks to the great quality of these other films that it wasn’t nominated more. Tough competition. It certainly deserves to be in a few more categories but there were too many to choose from and not enough slots.
T. J. Brumfield
February 22, 2012
I’d like to write in “Batman and Robin” for best soundtrack.
Seriously. I’m not kidding. This may be the greatest disparity in history between the quality of a soundtrack compared to the quality of the movie itself.
http://www.amazon.com/Batman-Robin-Inspired-Motion-Picture/dp/B000002NFZ/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1329946582&sr=8-1
T. J. Brumfield
February 22, 2012
Hrm. I may have to take that back.
Does “The Crow” soundtrack count as a superhero soundtrack? If so, that may be the best.
But the “Batmnan and Robin” may still have the greatest quality disparity between soundtrack and film.
Tracy
February 26, 2012
Batman & Robin has a badass track in BONE-Thugs-n-Harmony: Look into My Eyez.
Pretty sure I’ll be alone on that. Ahwell.
Jennifer Joseph
February 28, 2012
I love BTnH!
Tracy
February 29, 2012
I dunno, Jen- sounds made up.
I like you, J.J., really i do. U make a mean grilled cheese u always smell nice, like the inside of my mama’s purse.
Every Wednesday @ 5:30 et while I wept watching Perfect Strangers, you’d hold my Nike close and reassure me that “Cousin Balki will never die. EVER” for that i could never repay u.
But then we got a diemma here, don’t we.
Everyone from here ta Kansas knows that any fan of Paramore can never be a fan of BONE Thugs.
But alas I do have faith- so here is your chance to redeem yourself by correctly answering just one question:
What is the best Bone thugs album to date??
Choose wisely and remember this above all else:
Monopoly salt shakers quagmire raviolli sliver Quaker motorboat.
Godspeed, JanJo.
Tracy
February 29, 2012
I dunno, JenJo…sounds made up.
Besides, everyone from here to Kansas knows that to be a fan of both Bone AND Paramore defies the laws both space and time.
But alas i am a fair man & will give your day in court- even if it does go against my better judgement. But before Ye shall pass: “what is the absolute most bomb-diggy Bone album ever made?” Choose wisely, JenBo & godspeed.
Jennifer Joseph
February 29, 2012
I have a soft spot for E. 1999 Eternal but I also like The Art of War a lot.
Massive points for using my made up phrase from my short.
Tracy
February 29, 2012
Sorry bout the double post. I don’t know why that keeps happening but its annoying as Hell. Maybe I picked the wrong week ta qwit sniffin glue.
Anyways- we’ll go with E 1999. Creepin On a Come Up woulda been preferable, but we’ll chalk that up to the 10 year age gap between us.
I too have a “soft spot” for E 1999. Lotta crazy memories attached to that album- Good, Bad, and Ugly. Go numb & tear up a little whenever i hear Crossroads. Perfect Getaway is my favorite lick offa 1999.
Well played, Jen. Cya Wednesday @ 5:30.
Tucker
February 22, 2012
I’m rather surprised that Williams’ Superman score isn’t one of the soundtrack nominees. Unless it’s automatically retired to get the others a chance.
T. J. Brumfield
February 22, 2012
I see scores and soundtracks as two different beasts. Maybe that should be another category in the future.
Jennifer Joseph
February 22, 2012
Scores and soundtracks are two different things. Should we do this again, we’ll definitely have to devote more time to the nomination process.
Paul Bishop
February 23, 2012
Wait, so when you have the Batman soundtrack, you’re referring to the Prince version and not the Danny Elfman version? Hmpf. Either way, I agree with Tucker that John Williams’ Superman wins Best Score, hands down.
Good idea, otherwise
Mark E.
February 22, 2012
I like the nominees for each category. I easily picked a nom from each. I was all over the place though. But, that’s the way I like to vote. I couldn’t believe Unbreakable was on the list!!! ‘They call me Mr. Glass.’
Awesome!
Tracy
February 25, 2012
I still can’t watch the “They call me mister Glass” scene without getting chills.
Kudos SH for giving Unbreakable some play- good call.
Dann
February 22, 2012
Not having Edgar Wright in there as a best director choice for SPvtW is a sin
Ellie Ann
February 23, 2012
He certainly did do a phenomenal job directing that movie. It’s very well done.
But I still stand by our choices. What director would you change him out for?
Dann
February 25, 2012
I’d have switched out shammy, or del toro for Wright. I’d say Donner as well but that is more of a personal distaste for Superman movies and less of a statement that it was or wasn’t done right.
Tracy
February 26, 2012
Just curious- why no love for Superman flicks?
Minus the recent one *yank yank*.
Stephanie Scott
February 23, 2012
I would’ve been tempted to vote Edgar Wright for best director, but I think the screenplay category is better. But I see your point!
Tracy
February 24, 2012
Movie Award shows & professional wrestling- people STILL watch these?
I’ll be darned.
Film Samurai
February 25, 2012
How come Batman Year One was not on the Best Animated Movies? And what is Kat Dennings doing on among the actresses? So many others deserving.
SilverLocust
February 25, 2012
but ,,, Batman/superman Apokalyps usn’t there for animated…the Fury vs womnderwoman/Barda fight should get that nomication alone.
Tracy
February 26, 2012
2 things that have no business on any cinema “best” list: Hellboy & X-men: Anything. Especially the latter. If Ironman has no place in the “Best Picture” category- neither does X2. That’s real.
Re: “best soundtrack”- Are we not putting The Crow on superhero status? If not then where the Hell does Hellboy come into play?
It’s for the best though- the Crow soundtrack simply leaves no room for contention.
Good call not nominating certain actresses simply because of “a lack of options”. They’re not presidential nominees, after all.
Great call giving Unbreakable some play aswell as Robin Wright.
P.s.- all u Hellboy & X2 fans: More power.
Tracy
February 26, 2012
No room for Gene Hackman in a supporting role? He KILLED as Luther.
Ellie Ann
February 27, 2012
I’m surprised–and delighted–that Jackie Earle Haley won! He was so phenomenal but there were other good choices. And Joshua’s commentary on it was so funny.
Tracy
February 27, 2012
Best part was the announcement of Joel Schumaker as Best Director for Batman & Robin. Gewd stuff. Josh was funny as Hell- funny enough to forgive the horrible double chin. “Bruce Willis is just way to scary to make a joke about”- yep yep. I’m just glad Batman didn’t get jacked for ne decisions. I wonder who came in 2nd for best supporting role, though?
The intro was bad-ass. Who picked the background score? It was a dead on bullseye.
T. J. Brumfield
February 27, 2012
I’m glad you liked the Schumaker joke.
I put together the intro with my meager video editing skills. I’m going to reach out to a professional to do a better intro for the future.
The music in the intro is from Ronald Jenkees, used with permission. I reached out to him a while ago and asked if I could use his song if I credited him.
http://www.ronaldjenkees.com/
I also picked the background score. I was just surfing around the internet for royalty free music. It is called Firefly In a Fairytale.
Tracy
February 28, 2012
T.J.- Nah, fergit the pro- u may be in the wrong field, boss. I was hooked soon as Chloe’s slow mo’ shoot ‘em up started. Glad u added the Superman scene in there, aswell- mixin it up with new & older stuff was a good call. Speakin of- I totally agree about Superman 2.
I really do think the fireflies score was a great call- I think it fit like lock n key. Also dig the Batman by Picasso shirt.
But of course the best part was Zoe- she was great, man. Zoe also happens to be my favorite name in the world, aswell as part of the title of my all time always has been always will be absolute favourite flick of all time by a director named Roger Avery.
Hats off to you both, brotha.
T. J. Brumfield
February 28, 2012
I love “Starry Night” and I love Batman. Seeing them together is fantastic in its own right, but then it becomes a visual pun of “Dark Starry (K)night”. It is a pop-culture mashup from James Hance. He makes fantastic stuff, though I think the shirt is out of print. Sadly, I see people steal his art all the time without credit.
http://www.jameshance.com/
I love the name Zoe, obviously since I picked it for my daughter. It means life, and I can’t think of a more appropriate moniker for her. Now I need to put her to more child labor.
Tracy
February 29, 2012
T.j. Ya can’t coddle em forever, bro to just can’t. In my opinion its high time Zoe started ta carry her weight. Just one guys opinion. Oh and Kathy lees aswell.
Stephanie Scott
February 27, 2012
I wish I had hulk gloves!
Jennifer Joseph
February 28, 2012
The Hulk gloves were one of my favorite parts of the whole video.